Let me help you teach your daughter about her menstrual cycle… Did you know that for most young women who are starting their periods, it can take up to three years for menstrual cycles to become regular?  Three years!  If you are a mom, that means it might be three years until your daughter has a “normal cycle.”  But what does normal mean anyway? How many days is a cycle? What amount of blood is typical?

I’m going to answer all those questions and more, while offering some guidance to moms of newly menstruating daughters.  I’ll give you some tips on how to talk to your daughters about menstruation and all that comes with it… without being awkward!

And be sure to keep reading to download a free Wise Women Health Care resource!

Learning what’s normal in menstruation

When it comes to menstrual cycles, there’s a wide range of normal — 21-45 days in length, with menstrual bleeding lasting two to seven days.

According to the National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI), the total amount of blood lost during one period is 60 milliliters, or 2.7 fluid ounces. That’s about one-and-a-half shot glasses full.

It’s also common to pass clots and pieces of uterine lining during menstruation. Clots are simply blood that has gathered over time, usually because the cervix is tight and the blood has difficulty escaping. You can identify a blood clot by its ability to break up quickly

Uterine lining, however, won’t fall apart. It’s actually membrane from the uterus, often slimy and stringy.

Since you can’t really measure menstrual bleeding, you have to pay attention to pads or tampons.

The most efficient way to keep track of menstrual flow is by using a pictorial blood assessment chart (PBAC). CLICK HERE to download your Wise Women Health Care freebie.  It allows you to track degree of pad or tampon saturation, marking whether it’s lightly, moderately, or completely soaked. You can also note if you experience flooding, which is bleeding through clothes.

In addition, a PBAC helps you measure clots and categorize them as small or large.  By using a points system, a PBAC aids in determining whether bleeding is within a normal range.

What are some other ways to know if menstrual flow is too heavy?

In general, if menstrual flow soaks through one or more pads or tampons every hour for several hours in a row, that is considered heavy bleeding. The medical term is menorrhagia, which can also mean menstrual bleeding that lasts longer than seven days.

The CDC lists other signs of menorrhagia, including:

• Needing to double up on pads to control menstrual flow.
• Needing to change pads or tampons in the middle of the night.
• Having a menstrual flow with blood clots the size of a quarter or larger.
• Having a menstrual flow so heavy that it prevents you from doing things you would do normally.
• Having constant pain in the lower part of the abdomen during periods.
• Being tired, lacking energy, or feeling short of breath.

To help you and/or your daughter get the hang of tracking menstrual cycles, I have created a Wise Women Health Care PBAC. Download it now for free!

Adjusting your definition of normal for newly menstruating girls

So, let’s say you’ve been helping your daughter track her cycles by using the PBAC, and you’re concerned.  She’s bleeding frequently or having breakthrough bleeding between periods. If your daughter had her very first period less than three years ago, those things are normal.

I know it’s confusing. I just told you what “normal” is. Now I’m telling you it’s normal for your daughter to be “abnormal.”

But why?

You see, at the start of menstruation, a young woman’s body is still maturing.

It begins with the brain. Here’s a very brief synopsis of what happens. (Hint: It involves hormones. Lots of hormones!)

• The hypothalamus produces gonadotropin releasing hormone (GnRH) to communicate with the pituitary gland.
• GnRH signals the pituitary gland to create follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) and luteinizing hormone (LH).
• FSH and LH stimulate the ovaries, which produce estrogen and progesterone.
• The ovaries then talk to the uterus.

All these signals are firing and trying to figure out the correct paths. This is why young women’s menstrual cycles can be irregular.

Missed periods and spotting are normal when menstruation is still new. In fact, it is very common for ovulation not to occur in the first several cycles. You have to give it time to regulate.

Supporting your menstruating daughter

How can you as a mom support your daughter and help her understand what’s happening in her body? Here are five tips.

1) Start discussions early.

Make conversations about periods, pads, and tampons commonplace in your home. If it was awkward for you growing up, try to leave that baggage behind. Give your daughter a fresh start!

Even very young girls deserve the truth. KidsHealth.orghad a great suggestion on what to say if a 4-year-old asks what a tampon is for:

“Women bleed a little from their vagina every month. It’s called a period. It’s not because they’re hurt. It’s how the body gets ready for a baby. The tampon catches the blood so it doesn’t go on the underwear.”

Other opportunities to talk about periods are when children ask where babies come from and while buying pads or tampons at the store. It’s doesn’t have to be a huge, premeditated lecture. Make it an ongoing conversation, so it’s not weird!

2) Share your story.

When your daughter starts menstruating and inevitably has irregularities, explain how the developing connections between the brain, ovaries, and uterus can lead to unpredictability.  Help her understand that the first several months — and up to three years — will probably be all over the place. And that’s OK!  If you experienced irregularities as a young woman or maybe your mom or sister did, share those stories with your daughter. Let her know she’s not alone and that her “normal” will come.

3) Don’t rush to a healthcare provider.

If your daughter experiences irregular cycles or spotting, I encourage you not to rush your daughter to a doctor. A physician might suggest your daughter be on birth control.  Do you really want to start hormonal birth control on a kid who’s not mature yet? That’s usually not the answer.  Will it fix irregularities? Sure, but it’s a fake fix. And girls who are on birth control at a young age are more likely to be completely out of touch with their cycles as they grow and change.

4) Keep tracking.

I’m not saying never take your daughter to see a medical professional. Reread the list above.  If you’re tracking together and using the PBAC, you will be able to see when a visit to a healthcare provider is truly necessary. (Yes, that might mean looking at pads and tampons together!)  If she’s having really heavy bleeding, passing very large clots, or has been irregularly menstruating for more than three years, you should see a healthcare provider.

Bring the PBAC with you to any appointments! This will be so helpful to your provider, who can run tests to diagnose any problems.

5) Be encouraging.

If your daughter is complaining about her cycles, meet her with grace. Don’t rattle off trite sayings like, “This is just what it means to be a woman.”  Be gentle. Try teaching her about her menstrual cycle by saying something like, “You’re in progress, and it won’t be like this forever.”  Remember, all these hormones are new to her. Estrogen can make her feel amped up at it’s peak followed by a bout of moodiness when the estrogen tanks!  Progesterone might cause her to be sleepy and introspective, wanting alone time. Helping her to notice these feelings will help her to become more in-tune with her body and the amazing cyclical creature that she is becoming.

Taking the next step

If you need to schedule an appointment for you or your daughter, text me at 304-449-6670.  Be sure to download the free Wise Women Health Care PBAC! You and your daughter can work on it together and redefine what normal is!

WE GOT THIS GIRLS!  Embrace your cyclical nature and reach out if you have any questions.